Everything is a test
to see what you will do
Mistaking what’s before your eyes
you have to start anew!– some wiseguy, Buddhist I think
When I am lucky, or shall I say fortunate, I get little reminders when grief, fear and anxiety take over: Remember. Remember. Remember.
Oh wow. Yes. OK I remember. Back to the drawing board.
When I actually take the time to listen to that inner voice I stop everything. I go to a quiet place, then finally address that neglected business of grounding and centering myself so that I may return to operating at the soul level, instead of the ego level where attachment to outcomes feels normal and expected. When one is living from the heart instead of the head there is no fear, only love. Attachment disappears because one returns to serving the greater good, whatever it turns out to be.
Woulda been cool if the place had actually looked like this
Several years ago I attended a Hogwarts School of sorts. Yes, magic school, some call it witchraft, or the more sympathetic “Wicca.” I am not, nor was I ever, a “Wiccan.” I’m just a garden variety witch, and you can take that at whatever level feels comfortable for you. We’re all magical practitioners crafting our lives; it’s just that some of us know what we’re doing sometimes. Remember?
It’s not so much that I learned anything “new” at my Hogwarts, since I’d been an armchair occultist for at least a decade. What I did get is a practical anchoring, which increased my soul memory, which, well, thank God/dess, meant I could actually get some work done and have it stick.
At least, some of the time. It’s so easy to forget.
The Headmaster at this Hogwarts didn’t look like Merlin. Oh no, there were no cliches at this Hogwarts, just a lot of silliness and a little learning. His was the simple kind of teaching that stuck, the kind you took home and unwrapped, sometimes even years after he gave it to you with a pretty bow on top.
This Dumbledore was bald and flaming, and hilarious to boot. He was a roaming Safe Place for seekers, and believe me there were a lot of those. Seekers, I mean. Safe places and people are hard to come by. Attending to his students took heaps of loving, patient energy and sometimes you could see how drained he was. Still he smiled and just kept on trucking. Fortunately witches know how to regenerate, so in his words it was “all good.” It was his calling and he was great at it:
Me: It’s so easy to forget all this. Then when I remember, it’s like, damn it, now I have to start all over from the beginning! What do I do when I drop the ball?
Dumbledore: You pick up the damn ball!
Me: (Laughing) Yup, just start over. Goddammit!
Dumbledore: Don’t think about it! Don’t beat yourself up, you don’t have that kind of time. Just pick up the ball and start running! There’s no time! Oh, wait, that’s right, I forgot there really is No Time. HAH! Whooowee!
Don’t beat yourself up over it.
I suppose that lesson was new for me, the one about not beating myself up. At least it’s one of the few that actually stuck: There is no time to fuss over a dropped ball. Fussing only wastes more of that time you regret having already lost. You need to ground and rechannel that fussy energy toward your next soulful move because the game is still on, the clock is ticking and you can’t waste any more of your Time Outs. Everyone is assembling for the next play and, well, are you lining up, or aren’t you?
To hold the light on the planet is to hold love in your heart and your life. To think loving thoughts, to perform loving actions towards others, to feel love in your heart for all, to be rid of your ego, to stop all judging of others, to stop the blame game and take full responsibility for your actions and to stay positive in your thoughts. This is how we should be living our lives all of the time.
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